Surrender

I am stubborn. This is seen in so many ways, good and bad. Tonight I was having stomach cramps and my mom offered me some liquorice. I refused several times because I once took it for my stomach which resulted in me throwing it up seconds later. If you know me well, you know that I despise vomiting more than being sick for days. I told a friend that I have a "stomach made of steel" because I refuse to vomit unless incredibly necessary.

Another example of my stubbornness was last night. I was over in the Wheaton College area with Jacob. We were going to go up to a friend's apartment to watch a movie but two flights of stairs stood in my way. Even though there was probably 5 or 6 strong men around to life me up these stairs, I decided to crawl. Jacob reassured me over and over that I should let them carry me up but I continued in my ways and told him that I would rather crawl then fall.

If I have an opinion over something, I am stubborn to maintain that I am right. In the second grade, I was learning about the body and its systems. I learned the sternum protects the heart and rib area. I told this fact to my older brother Tim who made the claim that I wasn't right. I fought with him and found a credible source who backed up my argument. I still celebrate this victory.

This stubbornness sometimes has the problem of getting me in trouble, making me eat some humble pie, and even reevaluate my choices. The stubbornness that I have is because I want to maintain control of my life. I am stubborn that I think know what is best for me rather than giving control to God.

Surrender your life. This is not an easy task to do when I want to be in control. I've had to do it several times but not without some kicking and screaming along the way. Surrender your strength because I need to show others that in your weaknesses, I AM stronger. Surrender your comfort because I have better things for you during this change. Surrender it all to me because I said so. Sometimes we receive answers of why God asks us to surrender. Other times we have no clue.

God is teaching me this lesson of surrendering everything to Him yet again. I was stubbornly trying to deal with all of this on my own the other day. When a dear friend told me to go read the Bible and spend some time. In my head, I was like "CRAP, I don't want to read my Bible." I gave up though because I knew it was the right thing to do. 1 Peter 5:7 - "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." Bek, Surrender your anxieties to me because I care.