Surrender

I am stubborn. This is seen in so many ways, good and bad. Tonight I was having stomach cramps and my mom offered me some liquorice. I refused several times because I once took it for my stomach which resulted in me throwing it up seconds later. If you know me well, you know that I despise vomiting more than being sick for days. I told a friend that I have a "stomach made of steel" because I refuse to vomit unless incredibly necessary.

Another example of my stubbornness was last night. I was over in the Wheaton College area with Jacob. We were going to go up to a friend's apartment to watch a movie but two flights of stairs stood in my way. Even though there was probably 5 or 6 strong men around to life me up these stairs, I decided to crawl. Jacob reassured me over and over that I should let them carry me up but I continued in my ways and told him that I would rather crawl then fall.

If I have an opinion over something, I am stubborn to maintain that I am right. In the second grade, I was learning about the body and its systems. I learned the sternum protects the heart and rib area. I told this fact to my older brother Tim who made the claim that I wasn't right. I fought with him and found a credible source who backed up my argument. I still celebrate this victory.

This stubbornness sometimes has the problem of getting me in trouble, making me eat some humble pie, and even reevaluate my choices. The stubbornness that I have is because I want to maintain control of my life. I am stubborn that I think know what is best for me rather than giving control to God.

Surrender your life. This is not an easy task to do when I want to be in control. I've had to do it several times but not without some kicking and screaming along the way. Surrender your strength because I need to show others that in your weaknesses, I AM stronger. Surrender your comfort because I have better things for you during this change. Surrender it all to me because I said so. Sometimes we receive answers of why God asks us to surrender. Other times we have no clue.

God is teaching me this lesson of surrendering everything to Him yet again. I was stubbornly trying to deal with all of this on my own the other day. When a dear friend told me to go read the Bible and spend some time. In my head, I was like "CRAP, I don't want to read my Bible." I gave up though because I knew it was the right thing to do. 1 Peter 5:7 - "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." Bek, Surrender your anxieties to me because I care.

Tank Chair!

What does Bek do on a snow day that is different from any other day?? Find a chair that could help me conquer snow, rain, sand, and anything else that prevents me from troking.

The tank chair is an awesome invention to help those with disabilities to enjoy the outdoors at any point of the year. Unfortunately it costs $18,500 which is about 13,000 more than I could justify paying on my own. Check out the website where they have videos, pictures, and more! http://tankchair.net/

Maybe someday I'll have the privilege of riding one of these for fun. I'm pretty sure this is what everyone wants me to have as a wheelchair. TANK CHAIR!

Snow Troking

Many of you know that snow if probably my least favorite thing. Snow tends to make troking with much more difficult. I actually don't have anything to complain about this year. Besides this blizzard, we have had very little snow or precipitation. Right now the blizzard is making entire cities shut down, schools to close, crazy shoppers stocking up as if we're going to be stuck for the next 6 months, and an abundance of new facebook statuses. Really this blizzard doesn't overly affect my life right now since leaving the house seems to happen only in necessity or because I'm going out to visit a friend. But I have a somewhat amusing story about snow this year...

So it was the Saturday after Christmas. I had spent the morning reuniting with my church friends for breakfast. Afterwards, my dad came with Jacob and Jay to pick me up from the house. We head over to my house and spend an hour or so there. It was time to take Jacob and Jay back to their apartment. I put on my coat and purse to head over with them. At the time, there was probably about 6 inches of snow on the ground from our white Christmas. I wheel out the side door with the guys. Jay was about to hold onto the back of my wheelchair as I was going down our slippery, wooden amp but I was to quick for him. My thought was, I'm used to doing this on my own anyways. Well instead of gradually speeding down the ramp and turning into the driveway as I was accustomed to doing, I raced down the ramp without catching my speed and go full throttle into the snow bank at the bottom of the ramp. When my front wheels hit the snow bank, I lurch face-forward into the snow. I wish this would've been recorded for hilarity and viewing for years to come, but unfortunately it was not. Jacob and Jay immediately come to see if I was alright but also laughing because they thought it was somewhat purposeful. I finally pick my face up out of the snow and already can feel the mascara running partly because of the wet snow and partly because of tears. My entire body was covered and wet. Jacob looked at me and asked if I still wanted to go with them. My already shivering body answered no. I needed time to warm up and dry off. They helped me into my chair as I had been launched forward unable to save myself in anyway. I got inside laughing and shivering at the turn of events. Instead of driving out that day, I gave Jacob a chilly hug and stayed home.

It didn't take long for my body to recover and for me to laugh about what happened. Blizzard or not, snow is not my friend. I often tell people, "If snow fell in a way that it was never on sidewalks, streets, or driveways, I would love this time of year." Unfortunately it tends to snow all over rather than in a pattern to my own liking.

The UPS and downs of unemployment

It has almost been two months since I last blogged. Most of that has been a lack of inspiration in my life because I've had plenty of time on my hands. Since the completion of the campaign, I have remained unemployed, other than my full time job of looking for a job. I make it a serious mission to apply, apply, apply. This has led me to apply to as many jobs as possible, take anybody and everybody's suggestions, and even to a few interviews. Alas I sit here today on January 30th in almost the same position I was in a couple months ago.

I know I'm not alone in my journey, I have peers my age who are either working at coffee shops or longing for that fulfillment and I also have friends who are much older yet still in dire need for full or part time employment. Thankfully these people often offer encouragement or a shoulder to cry on as we push ourselves to click on monster.com again, call the place who interviewed you three weeks ago, network our profiles into an oblivion, and pray, pray, and pray.

Let me start with downs as to hopefully end on a happy note. The exhaustion of filling out applications with no idea whether the hour you just spent intensely filling in your information will actually be worth anything, the lack of enticing opportunities, the failure and rejection felt when you do not recieve the position. These are all common factors of the "downs" as one searches for future employment. One that has especially hit home for myself is the feeling of no purpose in life. Hey, I worked out today and took a shower. That's a good day for me. It's easy to be drowned in the pit of despair as one continues to function with no job. I was not intending to do this, but I ask for prayer on this particular issue. I know I should be finding my purpose and treasure in God alone, but I'm going to be honest and say that I've done a poor job on accepting this task.

Now the UPSIDE of unemployment. I told you I wanted to end on a happier note. I'm not lacking in sleep, coffee consumption, reading time, communion with saints, and time. One of the biggest blessing through all of this has been the opportunity to get to know my friends better. Most of this happens through phone calls and texts. Over the past 20 days, I have used 1,860 (31 hours?? Should I be publicly admitting this?) minutes and sent/received 1,460 text messages. And I still have ten days left on the month. Praise God for unlimited mobile-to-mobile calling. But these phone calls and texts have been well worth it as I have been able to share in life with friends and family. So, if you are bored feel free to call or text me because if I am not on the phone, most likely I am ok with being on the phone. I have had great opportunities to pray for people, pray with people, and shared in each others burdens.

As I continue to search for a full time position, I have placed my information up on three different tutoring sites as a way to fill part of my time tutoring those in need as I can. I love English, reading, writing, phonics, editing, history, government, politics, etc. If you or anyone you know of in the area needs in-person tutoring, I am more than willing to help. Also if you need any help with writing or editing, I would love to help you out over the phone or email.

So, that's pretty much my life right now. Oh and I'm volunteering with www.undocumented.tv You should check out this website and watch the new video! That's all for now. Much love.

The perfect job description...Obvs.

I ran across this job description and opening tonight when I was performing my hourly job search. If this job description was not written for me, then no description is written for me. It literally encompasses "The Bek" and what job she needs to pursue (and yes I just referred to myself as the bek).

Here it is:

Overview:

Have people ever told you to act your age? Have you, like, used “like” in a conversation, like, a thousand times? Something may be seriously wrong with you, but that’s OK. You could have a home with The Mash. The Chicago Tribune’s teenage media brand is looking for a Digital Editor who can “think teen” and create a fun, engaging environment in print and online. It can be tough—to teach and edit teen writers, you really have to be up on your journalism skills. But it can be exciting and unpredictable as well.

Candidates should have the enthusiasm for a start-up venture and the willingness to learn and do a little bit of everything. This job will require daily editing, reporting, writing, web production, and management of student freelancers.

Qualifications:

The ideal person should be enthusiastic about working with 80 or more students, confident speaking in public, open to non-traditional ideas, familiar with teen trends and social media, and ready and willing to do a little bit of everything. You’ll be asked to handle multiple projects and know how to prioritize them. You’ll also be responsible for daily editing, writing, web production and management of student freelancers and bloggers. A bachelor’s degree or higher is required, as is.

I really don't know anyone else more perfect for the job...:) I would thrive in this position. Speaking of job hunting, it kind of sucks. I've applied to dozens, heard from a few, rejected by several, and interviewed by one. Looking for jobs is a full time job as it is. I look forward to hopefully hearing from The Mash but I have to keep applying and searching. I appreciate all your prayers, suggestions, and encouragement during this time of waiting.

Let the countdown begin...11 days

Ok so I realize its been five weeks since i've last posted. I know all of you are thinking, "What the heck, Bek?" Well its been a busy 5 weeks on the campaign. There is tons I would like to share but I have decided go put that after the campaign because I cannot disclose too much information while its going on and I would like to wait on that anyways. But we've got 11 days left...I won't be giving you specifics of the inside view of the campaign but how about a little snapshot into my world and what I will be doing over the next 11 days?

wake-up early, drive to work, spill coffee in car on my white shirt, arrive at work, work for a few hours, use punching bag at frustrating times, eat lunch, make phone calls, help volunteers know what to do, ask ryan (campaign manager) at least 30 questions, stay late doing work, help volunteers, maybe eat a 7-11 brownie, eyes glaze over from staring at computer or call list to long, wait, wait, wait, ryan drives me home, sleep for a few hours, pete and repeat.

I said a little snapshot, didn't I? This is the busiest time of the campaign. And that really doesn't even show how busy we really are...Don't you worry - they'll be plenty more where that came from and when I have time, it will get written about. Well, I am going to make some phone calls asking for people to support Ben in this upcoming november. Hopefully next time, a post will be more inspiring....

19 more days (Post Election)

So, this was a post I had started during the middle of the campaign but I chose not to post it at the time because I wanted to wait until after November 2nd.

Here is what was written 19 days before election day..
"But my life has been consumed by the campaign. I've actually started writing earlier about the campaign but I have to be careful with how much I share before its over, for several reasons but one of the main reason is I don't want to publicly process through it while it is still going on. Something I've learned while working on this campaign is that its a roller coaster of emotions, busyness, constant work, etc. Before I move too far down the road of doing something I just said I wasn't going to, I'm going to stop there.
Something the campaign has challenged me with that I'm going to expound upon in this post actually has more to do with my faith. As I have gotten more and more involved in the campaign, I talk more and more about it. I tell people daily what Ben stands for and why I am voting for him. It has hit a point of passionate zeal in my life, which is to be expected with my involvement and personality. But the other day, I was writing to some friends about it and a question hit me like a ton of bricks, "Bek, are you this passionate about Jesus?" I was completely halted in my tracks by this pondering and in a way I still am. After a conversation with my fellow coworker, Ryan, we expounded on the idea of "canvassing for Jesus." Basically applying the standard election get-the-word-out-about-your-candidate procedures. I'm sure you can simply imagine on your own what these might involve and some faiths even practice door-to-door sharing customs. Although our conversations and thought process went beyond this standard application and dove further into the subject of focusing on the amount of passion for talking about our faith in Christ.
I've hit the point where I no longer fear telling people that I am both working and supporting a democrat, even in situations where I know that it may be frowned upon because it is an important part of my life. But how often do I restrain myself from sharing my faith with strangers or in those same type of frowned upon situations? Why do I refrain or give short answers if I so choose to mention it? Fear.Awkwardness.Rejection.Persecution.Worry.etc. The list could literally go on probably for days. These same excuses could be given when applying it to sharing Ben's message, yet they rarely stop me.
This is something that has been on my heart in different ways over the past few months. I spent some serious time this summer looking into an organization called GoCorps. Similar to PeaceCorps but with the mission of sending recent grads out on the mission field for two years. On their website, a message hit close to home. The Great Commission is command, not an option. We often will hesitate when someone challenges us with the great commission verses by saying, "I"ll pray about it." Which often means for me at least pushing it off to the side because it makes me uncomfortable. Yet the Great Commission is not an optional command, it is just as relevant and important to follow as the 10 commandments or others that Jesus speaks to us."

Now post-election day...
This topic is something that has been a pretty constant theme in my thoughts right now. How often did I purposefully bring up the subject of politics just to talk to Ben and why you should vote for him verses how much do I purposefully bring up God to give Him the glory in how he has worked in my life? With all that said, I do not think I should feel bad for how much I talked politics and the Lowe for Congress campaign. It really is just a point of reference that I can easily access and compare it to.
My challenge to you, (and even more so to myself) is to not live in fear or worry about what people will think when you bring up God in everyday conversation. My challenge to you is to not just pray about the Great Commission, but act it out as Jesus commands. My challenge to you is to think about how willing you are to bring up other controversial subjects like politics compared to how much you end up sharing The Gospel. While I was a part of the campaign and even still now, I took every opportunity to share Ben's message with the people of the 6th District. I persuaded, argued, conversed, shouted, whispered, and shared as much as I could. Ultimately Ben's campaign is over for 2010. Will I take this opportunity to persuade, argue, converse, and share how Christ has changed my life and can change yours? How much longer will I be able to share the message of Jesus Christ with those around me? I don't know that time line. But what I do know is what Jesus said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:18-20)